Homily: September 28, Saturday of the twenty fifth week in Ordinary time (Understand)

 “But they did not understand this saying…”

In today’s Gospel from Luke, we are told the disciples could not understand what Jesus was telling them, that He would be ‘handed over to men’, that He would be captured, tortured and killed.

I remember when my mommy was diagnosed with cancer, I was still a seminarian studying in Rome. I was far away from home. I didn’t know what to do, but since my siblings were able to be around to help her, I felt I could continue with my life as planned. But I was praying hard, I offered my sacrifices to God believing that He would be merciful and heal my mommy, at least to let her witness my ordination.

But she died in 2012. I was not due for ordination till 2016. It was not surprising, since cancer was a fatal illness in those days in my hometown. But I did not understand. I did not accept it. I felt that God ignored my prayers.

Then two years after my ordination, in 2018, my papa was diagnosed with cancer too. I was shocked and I prayed harder. In just a week after the diagnosis, papa too passed away. I was devastated.

I could not understand. I had already given my life to God, I sacrificed my whole life to the church, why did God not hear my prayers? My parents were good people, especially my papa was a holy man, faithful and obedient Catholic, why did he have to die so soon?

Jesus is the Son of God, who came to redeem the Israelites from their enemies, He was the long-awaited Messiah and He proved Himself to be powerful. He could heal people, even raise them from death. How could He ever come under the hands of the enemies?

They did not understand.

Do you also think the same? Have you also felt that God did not understand your situation? That God was doing things wrong, that it did not make sense at all?

Well, painfully and gradually I learnt. God understood me and my needs very well. He has a plan for my life, a good one, better than my own plans. It is I who did not understand Him. I did not understand His plan. It is not easy to understand because His ways are not my ways.

But now, as I mature and experience more of His blessings in abundance, I begin to understand better, not so much the details of His plan for my life. But I understand better the requirements of faith, that even when I don’t understand fully, I should just listen attentively to His word, trust fully in His plan, and follow closely to His will.

Even when things look bad at the beginning, externally, all will work out well for my soul and the souls of all who have faith, as God wills it.

Even when I don’t understand, Jesus, I trust in You.

Amen.